| Somebody just informed me that I am unable to say "Irish wristwatch." And they were right. Thing is, wristwatches are pretty much out at this point. I have no problem saying "Irish cellphone", so I think I'm going to be okay. But I'm still going to practice the wristwatch thing, mostly because I like being able to do things that other people can't. Like licking my elbow. Did you know that I can lick my elbow? I can.
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| Yesterday Stephen, Ben, and I had a Superbowl party. But then we got bored at halftime and decided to play computer games instead. That was fun. We defeated many powerful foes, mostly by saving and reloading the game after our tragic collective deaths over and over and over again.
I did set off the smoke detector during the first quarter by cooking hamburgers at too great a temperature. That was kind of exciting. The part at halftime with NBC's special 3D glasses was not exciting. It was, in fact, mildly disappointing. But I had a KitKat bar during it, so it was all good. Of course, everything will be much better next year when the Packers make their amazing comeback and Aaron Rodgers becomes well-nigh unstoppable. Until then, my friends. Until then.
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| Amy: If you could just stop by (insert name of local bar) while we're out then I could drop off these pretzels.
Sarah: Oh sure. I've never been to a bar before.
Amy: You just drove past the entrance.
Sarah: It's okay. I see another one. I might have used the bathroom in a bar in New Zealand once.
Amy: You can't go in this way! It's a one way parking lot!
Sarah: Sorry. I didn't know.
Amy: Turn around! We can't go this way!
Sarah: I am! I am! It's just that I've never been to a bar before!
Amy: It has nothing to do with whether you've been to a bar or not!
Sarah: It might if...
Amy: No! It doesn't! They make churches like this!!!
In short, I am still directionally challenged. And have still never been in a bar. Something about "Don't move until I come back or you'll go the wrong way."
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| Forgive me for the preceding rant. I have calmed down now. And I have considered the fact that I fear telephones and think milk is a filthy-dirty substance that should not get on my skin ever. That is probably worth major negative points in the adventurousness calculations.
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| I know it's really shallow to care about what the 'compare people' application on facebook says about me, and for the most part I don't, but I really can't understand why it keeps telling me that my worst characteristic is my lack of adventurousness. I've climbed up rock buildings with no safety harness. I've climbed under barbed wire fences in military border zones in the west bank. (Which was stupid, by the way. Don't do that.) I stayed in Ashkelon after Hamas figured out how to propel its rockets into the city proper. I stayed in Israel during the war with Lebanon. I've killed numerous scorpions with my marshalltown 4 1/2 inch pointed brick-laying trowel (which is a real beauty, the way). I've walked through crowded streets where AK-47's were hitting against me every minute or so. I rode over sand dunes across the Sinai in a Beduin jeep and survived a harrowing ride through Jordan in Mohammed's very-fast taxi. What do I have to do to please you people? Go skydiving?
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